God Created Us Equal
douglasmurphy:

shitshilarious:

iliveinmattsmithspants:

territorialcreep:

itseasytoremember:

whythefuckareyouromeo:


0ver-doze:

omg they are so offended if you lick them back. 

Fun fact! Dogs lick the mouths of those they consider higher in rank! So if you lick them back, they are not offended, they just don’t see themselves as higher than you and they are confused! The second dog must be a very loyal dog because he or she literally refuses to be licked back haha! I love dogs.

i started reading that expecting an angry rant and it turned out to be one of the nicest things ever.

I have reblogged this like ten times

My cat grooms me. What does that mean?

It means your cat thinks your style is wack and is trying to help

I licked my dog just to see what would happen. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so enraged at me.

douglasmurphy:

shitshilarious:

iliveinmattsmithspants:

territorialcreep:

itseasytoremember:

whythefuckareyouromeo:


0ver-doze
:

image

omg they are so offended if you lick them back. 

Fun fact! Dogs lick the mouths of those they consider higher in rank! So if you lick them back, they are not offended, they just don’t see themselves as higher than you and they are confused! The second dog must be a very loyal dog because he or she literally refuses to be licked back haha! I love dogs.

i started reading that expecting an angry rant and it turned out to be one of the nicest things ever.

I have reblogged this like ten times

My cat grooms me. What does that mean?

It means your cat thinks your style is wack and is trying to help

I licked my dog just to see what would happen. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so enraged at me.

snaketeen:

Turn your binoculars around. See now the tigers are smaller and further away. you gotta be smart to survive in the rainforest.

thatfunnyblog:

Why aren’t we talking about Dylan sprouse have you SEEN his tweets?


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GUYS SERIOUSLY 
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G U Y S
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oknope:

i just want perfect skin and hair and teeth and body proportions and endless supplies of money and beauty and intelligence. is that too much to ask for?

ruffiticus:

mspoffin:

I had a dream where every person, at exactly midnight on new years following their 22nd birthday, they possessed the body of their soulmate and people ran around trying to figure out who they were so that they could find eachother, and they left notes for the body’s owner to find with their address. And there were some language gaps so people had to translate it and travel to different countries carrying the notes they were left, and it was great

write a book right now

New favourite joke:

where-am-i-send-help:

ougbad:

karlimeaghan:

A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says ”Five beers, please.”

i dont get it

No one explain it

DC: Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-
Marvel: YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS
DC: We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.
Marvel: HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE
DC: The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.
Marvel: DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER
DC: After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.
Marvel: PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW
DC: We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...
Marvel: NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.
DC: We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.
Marvel: NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS AWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM
DC: We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.
Marvel: FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO
DC: Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-
Marvel: NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK
DC: Wait-
Marvel: NEW FEMALE THOR
DC: I didn't-
Marvel: NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA
Marvel: TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE
Marvel: PEACE